Music

Questionable Christmas Classics

by Melissa Bobbitt
Dec 10, 2012

Weezer Bruce Springsteen The Boy Least Likely To Christmas Music Rockwell Johnny Mercer

Ah, the holidays! The perfect time of year to be among friends and family, singing time-honored songs of yuletide and celebration. But before Gramps and Little Timmy join in the harmonies, take a second look at these memorable wintertime hits. Parental guidance suggested?

The obvious one: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." This feminist's alarms go off every time I hear this one. It's playful, to be certain, but with lines like, "Say, what's in this drink?" and the male host begging, "Don't hold out," it screams bad touch. Its sentiments might have been quaint in the late 1940s when it was written, but nowadays, it's asking for trouble.
A squatter's anthem, the chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is like the relatives that overstay their welcome. "Bring us a figgy pudding! We won't go till we get some!" they insist, invoking the gimmies. Definitely NOT the holiday spirit.
Maybe Rockwell was really scared of Santa when he performed the 1980s goofball hit "Somebody's Watching Me." Kids, SANTA IS EVERYWHERE. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake..." Sounds less like a benevolent gift-giver and more like Freddy Krueger.

A bonus track to add to the creepy Christmas list: The Boy Least Likely To's Jingle My Bells. The title's self-explanatory.

More from Melissa Bobbitt (See All)

Music

Meshell Ndegeocello Demands 'Comet, Come to Me'

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Sultry and daring singer Meshell Ndegeocello has announced the June release of her latest album, Comet, Come to Me, on Naive Records. If her recent Boombox feature is any indication, the collection's sound will fall...

Feb 15, 2014

New Releases meshell ndegeocello my brightest diamond

Music

Album review - Sebadoh, 'Defend Yourself'

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Sebadoh Defend Yourself Joyful Noise It's been 14 years since lo-fi rock trio Sebadoh released a proper album, and it sounds as though no time has passed at all. The sound of Defend Yourself is as...

Sep 15, 2013

Album Review Sonic Youth Dinosaur Jr. Sebadoh