Despite my penchant for all things '90s, I'd never seen Nine Inch Nails or Soundgarden in concert. Sure, I'd attended gigs by Trent Reznor's How To Destroy Angels and Chris Cornell's Audioslave, but neither band could match the unadulterated fury of those artists' star-making endeavors. So imagine my fangirl glee when I scored tickets to the joint NIN-Soundgarden gig at the Hollywood Bowl! Tears will be shed; panties might be thrown. It got me daydreaming about other dual-headliner tours that ought to exist. Here are 10 for which I'd sell a kidney to see:
PAUL MCCARTNEY AND RINGO STARR
The two living Beatles have performed together on multiple occasions over the decades, most recently at the Grammys blowout celebrating the 50th anniversary of their arrival in the United States. But o! what a tease that Sir Paul and Billy Shears are touring separately again this year. Come on, lads; give the people what they want!
THE SMASHING PUMPKINS AND VERUCA SALT
Chicago was such a hotbed for great alternative rock back in the day. The Smashing Pumpkins were the titans, and Veruca Salt were the sirens. (They duet here on "Said Sadly," a 1995 b-side.) SP's been going strong (again) since 2007, and VS got back together last year. (Not to mention that one-time VS bassist Nicole Fiorentino joined the Pumpkins in 2010!) Time for the Windy City mainstays to conquer the continent once more.
'WEIRD AL' YANKOVIC AND THE LONELY ISLAND
The grand duke of guffaws and the "SNL" knaves under one roof? Yes, please! Though, we fear that Andy Samberg's confounded success with "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" might get in the way of this comedic dream team ever coming to fruition.
GREEN DAY AND BLINK-182
I know, I know. I missed it when it actually happened in 2002. I'll never live it down.
FIONA APPLE AND RUFUS WAINWRIGHT
They've both done gorgeous covers of the Beatles' "Across the Universe." They both are masters of the ivories and of verbose, languid melodies. They both have a cult following. They both leave everything on the stage. Why hasn't this culminated into a tour yet?!
MUSE AND U2
This has happened before, when Muse opened for Bono and the boys on a leg of the 360 Tour in 2009, but that was relegated to the East Coast and Midwest. Then the above collab went down in 2010 at Glastonbury, but I missed that by a year, with no Matt Bellamy in sight when I saw U2 in that giant English mud pit in 2011. So close, yet so far away.
PIXIES AND THE BREEDERS
File this one under: Never Gonna Happen. It seems former Pixies bassist Kim Deal left that band under acrimonious conditions in 2013. (Not like the original breakup was any better.) So I'm grateful to have been present at the big reunion gig at Coachella 2004 and at FYF last year when Deal's Breeders did Last Splash in its entirety.
NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL AND THE DECEMBERISTS
I'd call it the Captain Obvious Tour, as the Decemberists' Colin Meloy has been pegged as a Jeff Mangum sound-alike from day one. But wouldn't it be a thing of beauty to bring these two anachronistic roustabouts together?
M.I.A. AND MIGUEL
Two of hip-hop and R&B's most vibrant and daring creators were destined to join up. Making this a reality would be a savvy move full of fluorescent spectacle and raucous energy.
DAVID BOWIE AND THE ROLLING STONES