Mystical singing space cats. The resurrection of the Thin White Duke. "YOLO" versus "Y.A.L.A." The year in music circa 2013 was a zany one that was forward-thinking (everybody's droppin' the bass these days) and reverent of the past (every new band sounds like it's from the 1980s). Here's what we loved and loathed:
BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Thao & the Get Down Stay Down – We the Common
BEST EP OF THE YEAR: Andrew McMahon – The Pop Underground
BEST REISSUE: The Beatles – On Air: Live at the BBC Volume 2
MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ROB FORD'S CRACK BINGE! (aka best song of the year): M.I.A. – “Y.A.L.A.”
MORE ANNOYING THAN THE KARDASHIANS (aka worst song of the year): Brad Paisley and LL Cool J – “Accidental Racist”
BEST SURPRISINGLY GOOD ALBUM: Miley Cyrus - Bangerz
BEST ALBUM NO ONE HEARD: Tedo Stone – Good Go Bad
CRITICS’ FAVORITE ALBUM TO JACK OFF TO: Arcade Fire - Reflektor
BEST REASON TO RAID YOUR PARENTS’ ALBUM COLLECTION: David Bowie – The Next Day
BEST REASON TO RAID YOUR YOUNGER SIBLING’S ALBUM COLLECTION, THEN DESTROY IT: One Direction – Midnight Memories
BEST MUSIC VIDEO: Bob Dylan – "Like a Rolling Stone"
BEST LYRICS: “All I know is that I’m tired of being clever/Everybody’s clever these days.” – She & Him, “Never Wanted Your Love.”
BEST (CHEEKY) LYRICS: “Everyone in line in the bathroom/Trying to get a line in the bathroom.” – Miley Cyrus, “We Can’t Stop”
THE "DON’T TELL MY COOL HIPSTER FRIENDS I LIKE THIS ALBUM" AWARD: Eminem – The Marshall Mathers LP 2
THE "DON’T TELL MY COOL HIPSTER FRIENDS I LIKE THIS SONG" AWARD: Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc – “Wake Me Up.”
BEST LIVE ACT: M.I.A.
BEST EMERGING BAND: Great Peacock
BEST EMERGING ARTIST: Lorde
BEST COMEBACK: Pixies
LEAST WELCOMED COMEBACK: Avenged Sevenfold
THE "OMG I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES" AWARD (MALE): Adam Levine of Maroon 5
THE "OMG I WANNA ADOPT A BABY WITH YOU" AWARD (FEMALE): Janelle Monae
MUSIC-RELATED AWESOMENESS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2014: Arcade Fire headlining Coachella (not confirmed, but they’ve an open space in their tour for it), new albums from Weezer and Foo Fighters.