Music

Questionable Christmas Classics

by Melissa Bobbitt
Dec 10, 2012

Weezer Bruce Springsteen The Boy Least Likely To Christmas Music Rockwell Johnny Mercer

Ah, the holidays! The perfect time of year to be among friends and family, singing time-honored songs of yuletide and celebration. But before Gramps and Little Timmy join in the harmonies, take a second look at these memorable wintertime hits. Parental guidance suggested?

The obvious one: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." This feminist's alarms go off every time I hear this one. It's playful, to be certain, but with lines like, "Say, what's in this drink?" and the male host begging, "Don't hold out," it screams bad touch. Its sentiments might have been quaint in the late 1940s when it was written, but nowadays, it's asking for trouble.
A squatter's anthem, the chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is like the relatives that overstay their welcome. "Bring us a figgy pudding! We won't go till we get some!" they insist, invoking the gimmies. Definitely NOT the holiday spirit.
Maybe Rockwell was really scared of Santa when he performed the 1980s goofball hit "Somebody's Watching Me." Kids, SANTA IS EVERYWHERE. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake..." Sounds less like a benevolent gift-giver and more like Freddy Krueger.

A bonus track to add to the creepy Christmas list: The Boy Least Likely To's Jingle My Bells. The title's self-explanatory.

More from Melissa Bobbitt (See All)

Music

6 Outrageous Artist Contests and Promotions

Melissa Bobbitt 0

When a band or musician is promoting a new album, they often go to great — and wacky — lengths to garner attention. Some use sex appeal; others provide exclusive or free downloads; and still...

Mar 13, 2017

Fall Out Boy Prince The Shins John Mellencamp Pulp Jarvis Cocker Diddy Cartel lists

Music

A Soundtrack for Feeling Infinite

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Rejoice, wallflowers everywhere! (No, no - sit down, Jakob Dylan. Not your "One Headlight" gang.) Your favorite novel about "Rocky Horror Picture Show" zines and the general, wonderful weirdness of being a teenager is now...

Aug 27, 2012

Smashing Pumpkins Soundtrack The Perks of Being a Wallflowe David Bowie Galaxie 500 Sonic Youth Chop Shop Atlantic Summit Entertainment Moody Blues