Music

Questionable Christmas Classics

by Melissa Bobbitt
Dec 10, 2012

Weezer Bruce Springsteen The Boy Least Likely To Christmas Music Rockwell Johnny Mercer

Ah, the holidays! The perfect time of year to be among friends and family, singing time-honored songs of yuletide and celebration. But before Gramps and Little Timmy join in the harmonies, take a second look at these memorable wintertime hits. Parental guidance suggested?

The obvious one: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." This feminist's alarms go off every time I hear this one. It's playful, to be certain, but with lines like, "Say, what's in this drink?" and the male host begging, "Don't hold out," it screams bad touch. Its sentiments might have been quaint in the late 1940s when it was written, but nowadays, it's asking for trouble.
A squatter's anthem, the chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is like the relatives that overstay their welcome. "Bring us a figgy pudding! We won't go till we get some!" they insist, invoking the gimmies. Definitely NOT the holiday spirit.
Maybe Rockwell was really scared of Santa when he performed the 1980s goofball hit "Somebody's Watching Me." Kids, SANTA IS EVERYWHERE. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake..." Sounds less like a benevolent gift-giver and more like Freddy Krueger.

A bonus track to add to the creepy Christmas list: The Boy Least Likely To's Jingle My Bells. The title's self-explanatory.

More from Melissa Bobbitt (See All)

News

Interview - Wussy

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Photos by Sean Costello Remember that episode of "The Simpsons" when Springfield imposed a sundown curfew on minors and all the adults whooped it up with youthful reverie? The scene at Amplyfi in Los Angeles...

Jul 2, 2012

Interview Wussy Shake It Records Ass Ponys

Concerts

Concert review - Lord Huron and Wildcat! Wildcat!

Melissa Bobbitt 2

Lord Huron. Photo by Melissa Bobbitt. The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles did a great job in selecting its premiere lineup in the 2013 season of its First Friday concert series. Angelenos-by-way-of-Michigan Lord...

Jan 7, 2013

Lord Huron Wildcat! Wildcat!